Fired for Masturbation

I mentioned that BSW was fired once for masturbating on the job. That wasn’t strictly true, but here’s the full story.

BSW got a job at a new Indian restaurant. She was supposed to be the hostess, but due to enormously poor planning and ineptitude, BSW ended up being the hostess, waitress, busboy, and prep chef. On top of it all, the boss/owner kept losing employees because he kept asking them to marry him. He asked BSW to marry him too and when she declined he gave her a three dollar raise if she would just stay. He loved BSW and continued to ask her to marry him and would beg her to stay.

It was hectic, but she was getting all of the tips, plus her inflated salary, which came each week and always had a bonus, because this middle aged pudgy man that was an inch shorter than her hoped she’d marry him. The place was never packed and since the food was so bad it never caught on, but it was busy enough for BSW who had to run around all night.

Toward the end of one night, two weeks into the job, BSW was frazzled and needed a little pick up to make it through the end of her shift so she went back into the store room, hoisted up her skirt and began masturbating. She said it was a good one and that she definitely made sounds. The second she finished the lights came on and there was her boss, who immediately wanted to know what she was doing.

She said she was getting some more rice (not her job and not something they needed to do at the end of the night) and he kept saying, “No, you’re doing something though.” It was never clear whether he knew or not, but he fired her on the spot saying he couldn’t trust her.

My thoughts are either he kept his money stash back there and was afraid of her stealing from him or that he knew she would never marry him and was tired of paying her so much so he needed an excuse to fire her. Of course, I always just tell people she was fired for masturbating on the job, because it’s more fun to tell that story.


If I can manage it I always try to plan events in such a way so that BSW has to change in the back of a car.

If I can manage it I always try to plan events in such a way so that BSW has to change in the back of a car.

(via raw-sensual-passion)


Mm, I’d love to unleash that bodice while backed into something like that.
zofianina:

Beautiful… very very sexy :-)

Mm, I’d love to unleash that bodice while backed into something like that.

zofianina:

Beautiful… very very sexy :-)

(via backseam)


BSW’s Masturbation Omnibus

BSW was a prominent masturbator. She would run an entire bath with her legs spread under the faucet. Her last two years of highschool she’d masturbate every night, squirming under the sheets, while her little sis asked her what she was doing. In college her roommates would joke that she’d prefer staying in to “flick her bean” than go out with them.

For someone that was so shy when it came to sexual matters, she’s been discovered masturbating more times than any guy I’ve ever known. She was once fired from a job at an Indian restaurant for masturbating on the job (another funny story I’ll tell in full sometime).

The best story she told me when we were talking about this was at a pool party. She discovered those water jets and decided to spend the entire time gyrating in front of it. She seemed to think that nobody knew what she was doing, as if know one in the world knew that females could stimulate themselves with that blast of water. She cringes just thinking about how many people there totally knew what she was doing.

She’s not one to use visual materials in her pleasuring times. Sometimes she uses vague sexual fantasies (the gruff cowboy fuck, true love in a harem, horny teacher…), but most times she just sticks her hand down her pants and goes.

When we were married I encouraged her to masturbate more since it keeps her desires high and keeps the waterworks in good form. She got into a habit of telling me after she did it, like she were confessing a sin. I told her it’s fine, it’s not cheating on me to do that, plus I want her to do it. She still tells me though, and it’s fine, I like it.

It’s the first thing she tells other girls who aren’t satisfied with their sexlife. She just tells them to masturbate. She’s gotten so mad at some husbands for neglecting their wives that she’s called them up and told them to pleasure their wives more. It’s the cutest thing in the world to hear her say “You shud heet her poosey.” How could I possibly ask her to stop calling our guy friends to tell them that?


I masturbated to this piece of work for years.

I masturbated to this piece of work for years.


One of the greatest SI Swimsuit covers ever, Daniela Pestova, 1995.

One of the greatest SI Swimsuit covers ever, Daniela Pestova, 1995.


My Masturbation Omnibus

Once I figured it out I was quite a fan of masturbation. Yes, I had to figure it out. First time I came I was drawing naughty pictures while I humped (innocently) a giant pillow. I had no idea what happened, but it felt good so I did it a few more times.

Then, one day in the shower, I put two and two together and incorporated my hand. I literally did not know what that jerk-off hand motion meant, I just thought you did it when someone was being a douche. It all came together in that shower stall. I was twelve/thirteen.

I would go to the bathroom in the morning petrified that my mom would know what I was doing. Like a kid taking thirty minutes in the shower is a sure indicator of masturbation.

I would sometimes out of boredom cum two or three times a day, but most days just once, usually in the morning during my shower or at night with a sock. I didn’t realize that everyone I know had a sock like this. Did any male not have a sock?

My most lame masturbation was during a rainstorm at two in the morning. Yeah, I slipped outside, stripped and jerked it while the summer rain fell. I felt poetic at the time. I drew much of the material that I used to get off, comicbook type girls, but in 95 the newspaper printed a little three inch picture of the new SI Swimsuit issue, Daniela Pestova. Wow. I cut that out and got off for months. Another big find was a Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalogue that came in the mail one day. [I’ll post some of my favorite material from back then]

Once college started I actually masturbated less. I got my first serious girlfriend and it felt so much better when she did it than when I did. When I married BSW masturbation stopped in the first year. Seriously, not once…well, not once outside of the week BSW went to visit her mom. We’d been married maybe four months and I think I masturbated every day. I went old school, jerking off to a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. 

Since that first year of marriage, I’ve steadily masturbated more frequently, a few times a month. Partly just to keep the engines revved when BSW and I haven’t had the time to take a roll or when one or the other is too tired. I’ve had to relearn a lot of the old tricks from back in highschool.


I used to have such a thing for Nicky Kidman.
fuckyeahhotbutts:

Who doesn’t think Nicole Kidman’s ass is perfect?

I used to have such a thing for Nicky Kidman.

fuckyeahhotbutts:

Who doesn’t think Nicole Kidman’s ass is perfect?

(via aforalpha)


Q
If I send a picture of my cock will BSW masturbate to it?
A

Probably not. BSW thinks the penis is interesting and artworthy, but a cock alone isn’t enough to arouse her. It has to be doing something to arouse her. But we’ve had followers send us private pics of their dicks and BSW is always touched by the sentiment. Send it along though, you never know she might touch herself this time. 


Q
Have you ever cheated on BSW or has she cheated on you?
Anonymous
A

I think I answered this on the first incarnation of this tumblr, but for the newbies, the answer is no and not really.

When I was working hard to get BSW she technically had a boyfriend, but he was long gone and she still had some fantasy in her head that he would come back and it would be fixed.

I worked on her for months, but she was reluctant to move on and resistant to moving on with me. Once she had finally reached closure over her ex I thought I might be getting close, but then she shut me down big time. I was pretty broken up about it and I went over to one of my neighbor friends who had made it very clear that she was interested in “whatever” with me.

So I went to her place and I sat on her couch and drank white wine with her and talked about BSW. It was sad and pathetic, I know. Either to shut me up or to get me thinking about her she knelt down and gave me a BJ.

It was a little awkward afterward because I was definitely still hung up on BSW and so I think I just thanked her after she was finished and we watched a movie.

I finally got with BSW about a month later and this neighbor girl was friends of a friend of BSW so the pity BJ was never a secret. That’s the closest I ever came.

BSW has never come close to cheating on any of her lover/boyfriends (or so she says…)